06 Feb

Self-confidence in children begins to form from birth: the mother meets the needs of the baby and offers him warm love, and the baby feels that he is safe at the level where his physical and emotional needs are met.

This feeling of security is a very important point that determines the confidence of oneself and others in their future relationships.

During this period, when the baby is just born, he is whole with the mother, dependent on her and not yet aware that the mother is a separate being from him. a baby who has reached the age of 24 months is aware that he is no longer a whole with the mother, at this stage the baby has entered the process of transition from being dependent on the mother to becoming independent. the 24-month-old baby has started to explore on his own and takes his steps towards these goals.

Having achieved them, the baby begins to gain a sense of independence, self-confidence and strength, and these feelings affect his future inclinations, skills and abilities.
First of all, it may be a good start to be aware of the 5 basic freedoms of the Virginia Satir:

freedom of perception, freedom to say what you think, freedom to express feelings, freedom to reject, freedom to realize your essence. These 5 things that can improve your child’s self-esteem based on basic freedom:


Stand Back

In accordance with the age of your child, let him make his own choices and take risks. This can be simple decisions, which are very simple, such as how much to eat at mealtime, whether to wear a hat or scarf in the cold weather, etc.

Instead of force-feeding at mealtime, if your child eats little and then says that he is hungry: “You have not eaten enough at mealtime, I can’t prepare food for you every time he wants it, you need to wait for the next meal.” if you make the child take responsibility for his behavior by saying, the child will also learn how much he should eat when.

Even with this simple example, you will instill in the child the awareness of taking responsibility for their own behavior, decisions, and the child will develop self-confidence at a level where he knows that he can make decisions appropriate for his age and takes responsibility.

Give Constructive Compliments

Praise is a very beautiful thing, but what and how much praise is done is an important point. For example:

When your child makes a beautiful picture, say, “You’re a great kid, bravo!“ instead of saying, “You did a great job. say “so that you appreciate the effort made by the child without putting the child in a mold.

Rather than a stereotypically appreciated child, a child whose effort is appreciated has more motivation to take forward the work he is doing, this increase in motivation and a sense of accomplishing something will increase the child’s self-confidence.

Too stereotyped compliments lead to the fact that the child does not have enough motivation and confidence in himself to develop.

Give Unconditional Love
There will be failures and mistakes of the child, of course, the main thing is not to criticize the child for them. As an example, because of a mistake he made “You are incompetent, you are stupid, etc.“ instead of saying, decompose the behavior and personality of the child and say: “This behavior of yours is not suitable for where we are now,

I want you not to repeat it.” With such sentences, you focus not on the essence of the child, but on his behavior, the child who hears this sentence understands that what is wrong is only his behavior, not himself, so that his self-esteem is not damaged and he takes responsibility for the mistake he has made, taking responsibility for the mistakes gives the child confidence.
Do Not Threaten

Trying to direct the child by threatening makes some fears settle in the child. For example: “If you don’t do this, I’ll tell your dad. sentences like ” are a threat and create fears in the child, damaging his self-esteem. Instead, give the child a choice, their feelings and thoughts freely, without fear that you do not provide an environment can specify different with you when you think of or makes a different choice than you don’t be mad respect to the idea, thus the person wants and say what he thinks in the future across the child is not forced to trust yourself.
Stimulate the Feeling of Accomplishing Something

For example, even with small steps such as dragging garbage bags with garbage inside your 3-5-year-old child, carrying a light bag when returning from shopping, self-dressing, the child understands that he can do something on his own, it works, which increases his self-confidence, as it makes him feel valuable.

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